Truthfully

Truthfully, I miss you. A lot. And it hurts that you don't care or notice. And I really just want to get over you and move on, but that takes time. And people think it doesn't, which is all the more frustrating.

Truthfully, it's scary that I'm not nervous for finals. My mind was done with school back at Thanksgiving, so finals could be really bad. I need to learn to like school again.

Truthfully, I don't want a couple of my friends to go on missions because I'll miss them too much. But please, don't get me wrong, I'm totally proud of them and of what they are doing!

Truthfully, I like my new driver's license picture. It's a good one, which never happens!

Truthfully, it doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Maybe it needs to snow. Maybe I listened to Christmas music too early so I'm desensitized to it now. Maybe I should go Christmas shopping. Maybe I should watch Christmas movies and decorate my apartment.

Truthfully, I love Divine Comedy. I love laughing...and glow sticks.

Truthfully, I really want to do a study abroad. I want to travel to different places. I want to get out of this country and see things in a different way. I want to experience life at its fullest.

Truthfully, I just want to sew all day long. I want to finish all of my projects. I want to feel the relaxation and enjoyment that it brings.

Truthfully, I want to accept things that are happening. I don't want to feel weak.

Truthfully, I want to know why talking about feelings is so taboo.

Truthfully, I love cheesy Christmas movies. All cheesy movies, actually.

Truthfully, I can't wait for January 2nd, when the new Pretty Little Liars season starts.

Truthfully, I don't know how to end this post. So....the end.

Up All Night

Gah...I have no idea why I am awake at this time of night...or morning, seeing as it's 1am now. And I really should go to sleep, but I can't for some stupid reason. So I just keep watching Pretty Little Liars, freaking myself out with every creak in my apartment.

But anyways, while I'm up I figured I'd write to you people a bit. So yesterday I went and got my license renewed (because I'm turning 21 in 3 days!!!) and I got all dressed up, did my hair, did my make-up extra nice because I had to get a good picture on my license. I mean, this is the picture I will have on my license until I get married! And who knows when that will be...it could be a very long time! So it needed to be good.

But you know the thing about the DMV?....when they sit you down to take your picture, they don't count down, so you could be halfway through a sentence and you'd never even knew they took the picture and BAM, you're stuck with worse than a mug shot.

Thankfully, I noticed this in line and so when I sat down, I smiled the whole time, just in case. And what do you know folks? I got a decent picture! What a great way to start off my 22nd year of life. :)

P.S. Happy birthday to my EFY brother Matt!

Stupid

You know what really sucks? Missing someone a whole bunch, and then realizing that they don't miss you a single bit. Just sayin.

I SURVIVED!

Hooray! Hooray! I just finished taking my anatomy lab final- I am done! I have officially survived the lab portion of the very feared, yet loved, class that is anatomy!!

I don't really know how I feel about the test, but I do know that I now have like 10 spare hours that I don't have to be spending learning terms and working on the cadavers..yay!(although I actually really enjoyed learning from the cadavers...holding a brain was SO cool!)

And not to mention I feel all smart now, knowing words like vestubulocochlear nerve and sternocleidomastoid and epiploic appendages. :)

Seriously though, anatomy is awesome. I'm so glad I got to take it this semester.

I hope your week is going amazing! The sun is shining, we're halfway through the week and next week is THANKSGIVING! Hooray!

Peace and blessings my friends, peace and blessings.

This is a pretty accurate description of my life at the moment. It's so interesting to me how we all have such big plans for our life, and how we have expectations for what things are going to be like and when they are going to happen. But life is never how we expect it to be, and that's kinda scary.

I had such a sure idea of what this semester was going to be like. I knew what I was doing, had a pretty good idea where I was headed, and was looking forward to several events that happened this semester. In case some of you didn't know, I can be a tad bit of a control freak. I like to know what, when and why things are happening, and when they don't go like I think they will, it can be kinda stressful for me.

But the thing is, I'm not in control.

God is.

And I just pray that someday I'll be able to just let Him have complete control, with faith all the way.

But you know what? I'm grateful that He is in charge. He knows what's best for each of us. He can make us become more than we ever could have even dreamed on our own. He shapes us through good and hard times, and brings people into our lives that we never would have expected.

So here's me, putting aside my fears and expectations. Here's to the rockin roller coaster that is life. And trusting that through God and because of God, everything will be okay.

Today is a Special Day!

I know it's a super old picture, but this pretty much sums up my awesome mom.

Happy happy birthday to my favorite person in the world! My mom!!! She is just such a great person, and I'm so blessed to have her in my life. She is crazy and fun and is a mother to all of my friends, which I love. She is so selfless and is always willing to help anyone she can. She is considerate, patient, loving, trustworthy, happy, talented, and just all around incredible. She really is my hero and such a great example of living a Christ-like life. I love you mom! Happy Birthday!

What hard work will bring you

I'm sitting on my couch, listening to beautiful Christmas music (say what you want, I don't care, I'm gonna listen to it anyway!), just pausing for a few minutes in the midst of my homework to celebrate the fact that I got a 94% on my Anatmony test!!!!!! AHHH!! I'm seriously so excited! This semester hasn't been the easiest to say the least...and neither have been my grades. And I've been studying non-stop like all week long, but it paid off!!!! Hooray!!!

And speaking of hard work, I ran my half marathon last Saturday! And I finished in 2 hours and 19 minutes! I have to say that it was A LOT harder than I thought it was going to be, but it was worth it...even though I literally was walking like a pregnant old lady for the next 3 days. haha. But I'm serious...people got some good laughs out of my inability to walk. I'll try to post some pictures soon.

I look back a how far I've come and I'm amazed. Two years ago pretty much to the day I was running the Snow Homecoming 5K, and I was dying, and now look at me! Running half marathons, triathlons, 10Ks, and running for fun! Ah! Love it! I can't help but be a little proud of myself.

Anyway, totally random post, but life is great! Love it! :)

This weekend has been so great! So great!

Friday I went to a sleepover with some pretty awesome people. And we played MASH...and mystery phone....and made cake waffles....and watched Newsies. It was a classic girl sleepover that I feel like I haven't had since I was 14, but those were when sleepovers were so much fun!

Then on Saturday, I spent the morning with Ed and Mak, something that we don't get to do very much anymore because we're all so crazy busy with school and work. And then I went and played with my cute little neighbors during the football game (where we totally whooped Idaho State!). Then I made these awesome embroidered Christmas ornaments-really, they're so cool.

Then I hung out with my good friend Jill, and we met up with some other friends and went and saw Dream House. I was pretty nervous, because if you know me at all, you know I don't do scary movies, and this trailer looked CREEPY! But everyone promised it wasn't scary, so I went. And they were right, it wasn't. It was one of those mess-with-your-mind kind of movies and you have to figure out what happened. I haven't really decided whether I really liked it or not though...I'll let you know.

And then today......I got to see one of my favorite people in the whole wide world for the 1st time in 2 years!!!! Yes, that's right people. Darren Faber is back in town! Hooray! Seriously, this guy is so awesome! His talk in church was like a conference talk and he is just bursting with love for the Gospel and for people. And he's so smiley and happy and ah! Just such an amazing guy. (and me makes me act kinda silly sometimes...which I love.)

Life is just happy right now. Even though school is still super hard and work consumes all my time, and there's rough stuff happening, I'm finding joy in the journey, in the every day. It's possible my friends! Life is good! Be happy!

Oh the love of youthful memories

Over the last couple of weeks, my lovely twin Becky and I have been diving into a movie from our youth...the kind of movie I would watch time and time again with my Grandmother and never get tired of it. Unfortunately, in the last decade that I have been growing up and didn't have so much time to spend with my grandmother, I had forgotten how much I loved the shows I used to watch with her.
But, Becky and I are bringing one of those shows back into my life....Anne of Green Gables! Oh my goodness, I am constantly swept away by the romanticism of the whole thing, and the way Anne talks makes me want to write again, and wish that I lived back then!


If you haven't watched Anne of Green Gables in a long time (or ever), you totally should! It is hillarious! Anne is always filled with some dramatic comment or poem. Here's some of Becky's and my favorites:
"Not now Marilla! I'm in the depths of despair!"
"My life is like a perfect graveyard, full of buried hopes."
"I'm absolutely positive that this night will ruin every day life."
"From now on, we shall be secret bosom friends."
"And we would eat ice cream and chicken salad."
"I shall bear this wound forever."

You might not understand how funny these are....which just means you need to watch it!
As of now, Becky and I are about an hour into the 2nd movie, and I am DYING! Because of school and such, we only have weekends to watch, and every day I think about Anne Shirley, and how she needs to acknowledge the fact that she's in love with Gilbert Blythe!!! He is so wonderful and patient with her, always trying to be her friend; even when she is snooty and won't give him the time of day. *sigh* Where's my Gilbert?....ah, well, he'll come someday. haha. But they HAVE to end up together, they just HAVE to!!! AH!
Call me cheesy, weird, quirky, odd or whatever you want about loving and being so excited about this movie. I don't care. I love it! p.s. I'm pretty sure I'm going to the Parachute concert next Friday and I'm STOKED!!! :)

Well folks, I did it!

Okay, so remember that post a few weeks ago when I said I was going to chop my hair? Well...I did! Here it is! I love it! I'm having a lot of fun with it, trying new styles and such. :) If you have any ideas, let me know!

School is going well, I'm finally getting a handle on my busy schedule. And although it's a lot of hard material, I'm loving what I'm learning! I held a brain on Monday...a real one! It was pretty sweet.

Anyway, just thought I'd give you an quick update. Life is good! :D

In A Nutshell

I have to remind myself of this sometimes....okay, a lot. But I love that it is as true as it was when I first learned it. When things aren't going the way you want, plan, expect, or can even stand, just remember this. Everything is under control.

Just keep your head up, look at all of the beauty around you (like red leaves on the mountains, running with your best friend, and the cute face President Monson made when he announced all of the new temples today). Happiness is all around. Look for it and you'll find it. And remember, it's all under control.

On Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and......Mud?

On Saturday morning, bright and early, Kristy and I drove up to Soldier Hollow and ran the DIRTY DASH!!!! Oh my goodness, it was insanely fun! There was mud everywhere and we had a great time too, which was a nice bonus. For those of you who don't know what the Dirty Dash is, it is a benefit race/obstacle course. It was a 10K, and you run some, and then there is an obstacle course that involves mud (like climbing over wooden walls with water spraying in your face, all the while hoping that you don't twist your ankle as you trudge through the mud on the ground...or crawling through muddy barrels.....or wading through the outskirts of the deer creek resivoir....). It isn't really about time at all, but it is all about getting down and muddy! But it was so much fun and I fully plan on doing it again next year....and so should you!!! So save up and plan on it! :)

Before......all clean. :) We're so fierce!

One of the obstacles, rope swing...where the guys decided (out loud, so I know it was on purpose) to spray me right in the face all the way through the swing.

I love running!!! :)

Jumping in the pool of mud at the end to get to the finish line

We did it!!!

I'm thinking.....I'm thinking...

So, since I'm not spending every spare minute (or moments when I need to de-stress) on Pinterest, I of course haven't found any cool ideas *cough cough*. But the matter which I wish to discuss with you tonight is.....I think I'm going to chop my hair!

I'm SUPER DUPER nervous to cut it, because last time I did....well, let's just say it was a traumatic experience. So, it's been like a security blanket for the last six years. A lovely, not-unhealthy security blanket, but still, one all the same. But I am ready to break free!!!! Bring on the new me!!! (because, of course, a new personality automatically comes with a new hairstyle. haha).

Anyway, first I'd like your opinion on this daring, frightening, life-changing topic. Second, take a glance at the 4 options I've narrowed it down to (I know they are similar, but humor me anyway). And then cast a vote for which one you think would look the best!

I'm really expecting votes people! So don't let me down! ;)

This could be a problem....

At the beginning of the school year, I made a list of goals. Like, pray every morning and night, don't procrastinate, work out everyday.....you know, a typical list of school goals. Well, one of said goals was to only get on Facebook once a week, because who needs something like that wasting my time when I have so many other wonderful things to learn, people to meet, activities to attend....you get the idea.

And I was doing SO GOOD! But then......I met Pinterest.

So much for not spending meaningless time on something.....but it's SO FUN! Seriously, I might be addicted. I might need to limit myself to....oh, an hour......and a half.....or so a week. Check out some of the awesome stuff I've found just in the past couple of days!

(I love all of the sayings! They always put a smile on my face.)

(Cute house ideas)

(And the food...oh my goodness the food! I can't wait to try some of these recipes!)

Lucky me :)

Do you know the song "I must have done something good" in The Sound of Music? Well, even that is a little too cheesy for me, but hey, it works. I honestly don't know what I did to deserve such amazing friends. I only met most of them this summer, but they are some of my closest friends. I got to go up to Logan last weekend to hang out with them, and I'm so glad I did! When I'm in Provo, I miss them all so stinkin' much! If I didn't feel like I need to be here, well, I'd be in Logan. haha.

Some of us at the football game. Notice I'm not wearing a Utah State shirt. BYU all the way! (Even though I was under oath to not cheer for BYU by Matt at the beginning of the game.) But I can appreciate a good football game. They played well, and it was lots of fun, despite everyone teasing me when they announced that BYU lost. Still...we'll see who wins in a few weeks! (Funny how I'm a little more excited for that game than the BYU-Utah game?) :)
Have you met Madeline? If not, you should, because she's possibly the cutest girl ever! Really, she's so sweet. And she makes great paninis. And has an awesome blog.

And my old roommies!!! LOVE them! They make me so happy! And much thanks to Jaron for coming along even though he didn't know anyone. And...I really am sorry about the crazy rides.....

But anyway, thanks for being so amazing!

And it goes on and on and on

Hooray! It's the weekend!!!! And not just any weekend, it's RIVALRY WEEKEND!!!! Yup, here in good ole' Provo, things are getting pretty jazzed up for the game vs. Utah. They even wrapped all of the statues around campus so that no one would come and vandalize them! And then...haha...someone did this.

I thought it was pretty clever. ;) We're cool like that.

Life is just rolling along, as newly usual. I'm not quite used to how busy I am now...I think everyone in my ward thinks I'm anti-social. haha.

But ya, life is SUPER busy!!! I haven't worked and gone to school since my Sophomore year of high school, and it definitely takes some adjusting, but it's good! I'm learning lots of cool stuff and saving up money (because a girl with no social life has no reason to spend money, right? haha).

Anatomy pretty much rules my life, and all of my other classes seem to be much less of a priority. It's interesting. But....I've learned so many cool things!!! We worked on the cadavers for the first time on Wednesday, and it was really cool! I wasn't nearly as freaked out as I thought I would be.

But ya...so if I don't talk to you for long periods of time, it's not because I don't love you all...I just have no life but school and work. But only 10 weeks left! :)

p.s. I'm super happy to announce that I am officially part of the Pinterest Club. Located in Logan, Utah, there are 7 members. And we're the Power Rangers. And pretty much the most awesome club ever. Last week we made paninis! They were SO good! Better than Zupas.

Love them warm fuzzies!

Today I saw Natalie and Sara. Yesterday I saw Elise. Tuesday I saw Becky and Eric. Monday I saw John and Jessica. Tomorrow I will see Jaron and Jessica and Wesley. The day after that I will see Madeline and Jaron and Braden and Lauren and Matt and Kjarinda and maybe Kylie and others!

The point is....seeing all of these people makes me so happy! Every time I see someone from EFY I just feel so warm and fuzzy inside (and I know I sound totally and completely cheesy saying that, but you know what? I don't care....I'm a cheesy person! :) ) It makes me feel like I'm home.

Probably should be following her example

So here I am, sitting at school on quite a comfortable couch with a two-hour break until my next class. And there's a girl sitting kiddy-corner to me reading said class' textbook. Should I be reading as well? Probably. Am I going to? Probably not....haha. Week two and I'm already getting complacent! Look at me go! However, I will have you know that I have been studying very hard and got 100% on my anatomy quiz! Booyah!

But man!!! One more class to go until I start my weekend!!!!! (no classes on Fridays! Hooray!) And I'm super excited for this weekend! I get to head up yonder to Logan and see my amazing friends and old roommates! I can't wait!

Welcome Back!

Back to school.....such a dreaded time at the end of summer, but aren't there so many wonderful things about it?.....it makes me want to smell a bouquet of sharpened pencils! (and if anyone can name that movie, I'll be really proud!)
I mean, think about it! There are so many things about the first week of school....
-waking up at 3 am
-taking your dog to the vet because she has a huge lump on her head
-being stopped on campus by the one person you never would have thought wanted to talk to you
-the water heater not working
-then the air conditioning not working
-watching TV programs like "Red Fury" and "Ancestors" and "Wordgirl!"
-learning over 100 anatomy terms (like squamous suture!)
- getting a new awesome roommate (who speaks Italian!!!)
-doing a triathlon
-blazing hot days
-finding the most amazing toffee squares ever!
-seeing lots of old and new friends
......isn't the first week of school just so great?!!!
Wait....you mean not everyone has a first week like this? Hmmm.....I guess I'm not as normal as I thought. I still want to smell a bouquet of sharpened pencils.

Influences

So, this may just end up being a rambling post, but this whole topic has been on my mind for...well, pretty much the whole summer. How is it possible that a person can walk into another person's life, influence them in countless ways (or even just a few) and then simply disappear? Sometimes people leave by choice, which can be hard on both ends, believe me. Sometimes they are forced to leave, and sometimes life just takes you in different directions.

This has always been something that is difficult for me. I love people. I love my friends and family, roommates and wardies, and I wish we lived in a world where we could all remain friends, no matter where life takes us, that people didn't have to leave, where you could just keep meeting new people and still keep all of the old ones. But alas, there is not time or energy to maintain contact with every single person you have ever met.

But this is for all of you out there who have made a difference in my life. I hope you know who you are, even though most of you don't even know this blog exists. haha.

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

Summer of my life

So, when I last posted, I'd kind of figured that my summer was over, that nothing else too exciting was going to happen in this summer that has been so amazing....but there has been SO much!

First of all, my best friend in the whole wide world got married!!!!! I love them both so so so much and it was incredible being at the temple to see them come out and then spending the evening with them at their reception. It was an eventful day, but it was completely wonderful! Mak looked so incredibly beautiful and Ed is such a stud..gah! They're just so perfect together. :) Now they are happily married :)

Then, a couple weeks later, Makayle and I had the amazing opportunity to go and see Josh Groban in concert!!! It was incredible.....like INCREDIBLE!!! I've heard people say that his voice is better live than on the CD...and they totally weren't kidding! He was incredible! I'll say this though; that boy likes to talk a million miles an hour with no breaths inbetween his sentences. haha. He had a little stage at the end of the floor though, so we got to be like a million times closer to him than we thought we were going to be, which was so cool!

And then....I went on this trip. With 7 other people. To California. To spend what would be one of the most magical weeks of my entire summer. Seriously, this trip was amazing! We were such a great group, very very minimal drama, and I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed Disneyland so much in my life. We sang in the lines (and yes, people stared at us, but some joined in!), we took a MILLION pictures, we participated in an EFY flash mob, I faced my fear of Tower of Terror...twice!, we had a spiritual experience at World of Color, took an album-full of awkawrd family photos, made a million memories and laughed a ton! Oh yeah....and we combed each others hair while hummming...sorry, inside joke. I won't bore you with all of the little details of the trip, but it was so much fun and I already want to do another one with them!

I really have been so incredibly blessed this summer to have experienced all of these things. I could never have imagined how this summer would have turned out, but I'm so glad it turned out the way it did! And although I don't want to start school again, and although I'll really miss my Utah State friends, I'm really excited to see what kinds of things this next semester brings! Boo-yah!!! :)

Upside Down

Holy bananas! I know that it's been forever and a half since I last posted. But wow!!! My life has changed so much in the last two months! It's been so crazy and I really feel like my life has been flipped upside down, but trust me, I am in no way complaining! I love it!

For the last 7 weeks I have been working for EFY (Especially For Youth) which is a camp for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is such an incredible camp and I have seen so many miracles, large and small. The Spirit can always be felt so strongly there and I know that I have grown so much from all of the lessons, classes, devotionals and testimonies that have been taught. The youth of the Church are truly amazing and I feel so incredibly blessed to have had the chance to work with them and to see them grow and to learn from them.

I have made SO many new friends this summer. All of the counselors that work with EFY are so incredible and they are so easy to love! I really made an awesome connection with my first team and met some of the friends that I call my best friends today. They are all so strong in the Gospel and are always there with a cheerful word to lift anyone around them or a crazy idea to have fun on a random day.

I really wish that I could somehow convey how much happier I am because of everything I have learned and how I have grown and how much this summer has changed my life. Before I headed off to EFY, I felt like I had had my summer and that I could go back to school. But now I never want this summer to end, because it has been one of the most amazing of my life. But I am so excited for the future, for plans that will unfold, new friendships, lots of laughs and even more learning. I'm so grateful to Heavenly Father for this unforgettable opportunity this summer!

I'll try to post more often now since I'm home.....but I make no concrete promises. haha. Still, I love you all and hope you are having a great summer as well! Here's a few....okay, a lot of pictures to show you what I've been up to at EFY and hanging out with the counselors.

Counselors having fun in the car, singing at the top of our lungs. :)

I went and saw Harry Potter at midnight...and then again two days later with these wonderful people.


Day at the Hogle Zoo. SO much fun!

I love Kylie with all of my heart. She is the most amazing girl in the whole world!

Me, Maj and Jaron on the 4th of July

Getting ready for the firework show.

"We need Katy Perry! You can't have a fireworks show without 'Firework'!"

My completely awesome "brother" Matt. haha. We had pretty much all of the youth fooled. It was pretty funny.
Do you think we could be siblings?

Twinners!!! The Rebecca Suzanne girls! Love her!!!

My first group of wonderful girls!

Reading the love note to Spencer. hehehe. Possibly the funniest moment of my life!

Spencer and Kaitlyn. Such awesome co's! :)

Maj and I. Ya, we're crazy. But totally awesome!

Musical program my second week with Colby and Jaron. It went so well!!!

One of my boys, Chance, painting my nails. They looked really good too!

Pizza night #2!!!! We had the best dance party ever that night!

Little Parker! He was autistic and SO adorable! :)

"Brother Brigham would be proud!" haha

Me, Majken, Elise, Michael and Charmaine.

Somehow, Michael always seems to be the only boy among 5 or more girls. But I've never heard him complain....so..... :)

I've never been so scared in my life!

These are two of my favorite girls in the whole world! I'm SO glad I met them! They have changed my life in so many ways!

SO glad Majken was my roommate one week! It was CRAZY!!!
Laidee!!! Love you long time!

Happy Harry Potter Day!!! The youth were blown away by my magicalness!

The midnight Harry Potter crew....we may or may not have played truth or dare and written a love note to Harry Potter.

Meagan, Wyatt and I with the walkies. We are so cool.

Games night!!!

The best Quiddich team ever!

Cute Natalie! She's so great! :) And I really love her beautiful hair! Look at it!

I love my girlies!!!

The very last day/last week of EFY: the most intense rock/paper/scissors tournament EVER!!!

The Creeping Things!

There are SO many stories, memories and great times from these weeks. I love all my youth and wish them the best! But to everyone....remember to Believe. Hope. Endure. GO EFY!!!!!!